Kids These Days

Kids These Days

Kids these days are getting dumber by the second. Between Reality TV, Myspace, and Fall Out Boy, our current generation of teenagers are more idiotic and self-absorbed than any other. Nothing matters more to them than what’s going on right here, right now. If you've ever had the misfortune of reading some fourteen year old's Myspace page, then you probably know what I’m talking about. If not, I’ll take a moment to explain a few of the grievances that I put up with every day…

The largest and most obvious problem with today’s youth is their take on relationships. Not to say that they’re naïve, but… Actually, they’re not naïve at all; they’re just fucking stupid. It seems that these days Romeo and Juliet took centuries to fall in love. I’m sure that Shakespeare would be surprised to learn that two kids who have never met can hook up in an hour and proclaim their undying love for one another on Myspace before midnight. For example:

“♥I love you (Name Here) ][always&&forever][January twenty-eighth two-thousand nine]♥”

What if it turns out that they’ve made a horrendous mistake and break off the relationship? Well, that’s simple: find a new partner to insert into the parenthesis. My take on the whole situation is that they want their lives to have some kind of meaning, that this is how they’re supposed to feel. Unfortunately, fairytale romances are only found in books… Did I mention that the Myspace status above was written by a male?

As long as we’re talking about Myspace, we may as well discuss how it’s destroying America. Myspace allows millions of kids who would normally be social outcasts to have some kind of social life. THEY’RE MISFITS FOR A REASON! When they all pat each other on the back for their high-contrast, weird-angled mirror pictures, they get self-esteem that they don’t deserve. George Carlin said it best when he ranted about how nowadays “everyone is a winner”. If these kids don’t learn that they’re going to be failures early on, when will they? It’s cruel to think that Myspace is allowing them to live blissfully unaware of the fact that they’re going to spend their better years posing for themselves in a mirror.

I suppose it’s only fair to attack today’s music. America, as a society, needs to come to the realization that some musicians should be executed on live television. Dopey mainstream teen music isn’t causing much harm (I’ll save it for another post), and never really has, but there is a general category of modern music that is deadlier than anthrax laced with AIDS: Emo music. What kind of self-respecting person listens to that bullshit?! Hawthorne Heights can whine about their lives all they want, but anyone who takers their shitty lyrics seriously should kill themselves sooner than they would have normally. The band obviously makes good money, has plenty of groupies to fuck, and is generally successful. What do they have to bitch about? These little shits who listen to those big shits need to find some other way to stand out from the crowd. You’re not deep, you’re not noble for enduring your ‘pain’, and you’re not in any way special for cutting yourself to release your angst. It’s not okay to cry and it most certainly is not okay to be a little faggot.

Before I incorporate several different blog topics into this, I should talk about Reality TV. This God forsaken form of ‘entertainment’ creates a standard for drama that teens feel compelled to follow. When they see Flava Flav’s bitches ripping weave off more efficiently than an Indian could scalp, they want that excitement in their life too. They want it so bad that they often go out of their way to create drama. This can be extremely infuriating for those with an IQ above 70, mainly because of our ability to discern that only retards act that way.

I could easily write ten pages on every paragraph here, but I was in a rambling mood. Mission accomplished. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please leave a comment. If you disagree with anything that I’ve said, fuck you. Have a nice day!

(Sorry about the indentations problems; blogspot won't cooperate)