The task of gift wrapping.

Gift wrapping has been around since the six packed chizzled Romans, who would give each other gifts wrapped in colorful paper, this was for the Roman New Year. This tradition of gift giving has now become mainstream as a result of Christmas. During those times life was much simpler, but today that's not so. A friend of mine recently had a birthday, and I being the nice person I am, decided to get him a gift. Little did I know that I was about to embark on a journey of bullshit. First of all, the idea of having to shop for someone else is completely absurd. Do people realize the amount of physical exertion that is required to, not only gift wrap, but also to travel great distances to get where the gift is. When I arrived at the mall and I went into Hollister to get the gift, I came up to the cashier and asked if they would gift wrap it for me, and what does this pimple on the face of society say… .“NO!” No? So I ask how exactly do I get such an item wrapped. The guy tells me to do it myself, and that I would need to go to hallmark to get the stuff to wrap it. Now I have hall my pale ass all the way over to Hallmark to get this damn thing wrapped, and when I get there, I then apparently have to get tape, a card, some type of cutting device, and a bow! I’m not meant for this kind of physical labor, I am old man dammit!

I didn’t get my friend the gift because by the end of this escapade I found myself in a puddle of my own sweat, urine, and vomit. Never again will I do this, I must find an establishment or person that can do all of this for me, otherwise I will be forever lost my own ineptitude of such a task. If you don't agree with me your obviously a dimwitted buffoon who should drink a gallon of Drano and do the world one over. But if you do, well then you deserve to have a parade in your name.

Sincerely Mr. Right.