WOMEN

WHAT THE FUCK! WHY!? Why do men have to bend over backwards for women (this has two meanings, because sometimes a big dildo attached on can really satisfy a man (!)), we do everything and they intern do jack shit. I admittedly suck with women, that’s why…well that can wait. I really don’t know where to began with this blog, but I’m sure as hell going to try. The first problem I have is actually confronting these beasts (because their certainly not human). How hard can it be to confront women? REALLY FUCKING HARD…like trying to shove your dick in a 24 FL OZ diet coke bottle…that’s how hard. You have to confront them and play games, when all you really want is a fudge cupcake and a fucking sloppy blowjob…and then to be done, no strings attached. What the fuck is commitment? Why the hell would I stick with one women who is going to complain and make me want to stick a steel coated dildo into my ears thus causing blood to sporadically squirt all over the whores face. Why the fuck would I be with someone that during an awesome movie asks if she can borrow my coat (?), hell to the fucking NO, you should of brought your own coat you fucking retard…now stick your hand in this extra buttered popcorn and make me happy! You think commitment means she loves you? WRONG!!! She’s going to think she loves you for 5 fucking minutes, and then BAM (kinda like the big bang, only a cum shot from a black man named Tyrone Biggens). She doesn’t love you innless you do an astronomical amount of shit for her. You have to buy her shit (holidays, birthdays, anniversaries (?). Yea fucking right), take her out to eat, take her out to the movies, watch “The Notebook” (I cried during the movie) and then you have to give her pleasure! WHAT! I’m a 30 second man, I can’t handle all this fucking yoga palate bullshit. I watch porn in admiration of what others can do, I sure as the hell don’t watch it so I can do some crazy foreign shit that could cause me to rip my hamstring (mmmmmmmm I love ham, but especially when you put it in the skillet with butter, kinda like in the beginning of “Dexter”.) Love? You’re to fucking young and so I’m I to know what the fuck love is, so in order to pass the time put a fucking table on your head, make me a goddamn sandwich, and caress my hairy, sweaty, nipples until I splurge my magical nut frosting on your face. (Are you offended yet?) Then women want to have babies! FUCK BABIES!!! (Adoption is cool, as long as the child is taught to shut the fuck up) They are fucking ugly fat pieces of shit that eat, poop, and piss on you….why the fuck would I want one of these abominations. On top of that, I have to go through hell, not only does my wife gain an extra 300 pounds, but she he also gets lazy. What the fuck am I going to do with a bitchy hippo, that during this baby making time bullshit, can’t make me my fucking prime rib? I know what! I’m goanna find me someone fucking else and leave your bitch ass with the dumb cunt baby. It’s to hard for me to deal with all that bullshit. Thank the heavens filled with majestic white people I’m gayer then fuck, and prefer the cock. As always, if you like what’s been written, please subscribe, reply and enjoy your life. But, if you disagree, then I highly suggest you get an illegal switch blade (ask a Mexican where to find one), cut your penis off and stick in your fucking mouth and learn to shut the fuck up for once in your pathetic life. VANISH AND DIE!!!

Sincerely Mr. Right